HAPPY NATIONAL ADOPTION AWARENESS MONTH!!!
November is dedicated to creating more awareness for adoption. Obviously, adoption is a very important thing to me. Adoption was an option that Gus' birthmom chose. Adoption was the way that we chose to build our family. Adoption made me a MOM!! I couldn't imagine what my life would be like if adoption wasn't available to me. I think that there are so many misconceptions out there about adoption. Each year, as a family we will do something in November to help create awareness. To do my part in helping to create awareness I wanted to separate some facts from the myths out there. So this year we are just starting by sharing what we have learned.
MYTH
There are very few babies placed for adoption.
FACT
20,000+ infants in the United States are placed for adoption each year. This does not include the international adoptions.
MYTH
It takes years to complete an adoption.
FACT
The average time span is two years. Yes, we were very lucky that it went so quickly. This month marks 2 years from when we started the adoption process and 11 months since we first showed up on "the list".
MYTH
The birthparents can show up at any time to reclaim their child.
FACT
Once the adoption is finalized, the child is legally considered part of the adoptive family. The publicized stories that we often hear about usually did not follow the proper process for adoption and therefore there are loopholes.
MYTH
When you adopt, you are just buying a baby.
FACT
Yes, adoption is costly. But nobody "buys" a baby. The money doesn't go to the birthparents so they are not selling their child. The money that we pay helps to go towards the salaries of our social workers. (And God bless Dawn and Louise! They are fabulous!) It also helps to pay the legal and court fees. Plus a variety of other things. I just spoke with a mother of one of my students who actually adopted this student (G.G) when he was an infant. She told me how the adoption process was so different 16 years ago. His birthfather tried to file for custody after G.G. was 6 months old. They spent 2 years in and out of court and racked up $300,000 in litigation fees...but she said it was worth every penny. (Later they found out that the birthfather did not actually share DNA with G.G!!) If I was in her situation, I would give anything and everything to pay the fees needed to keep Gus. Even if that means going into that much debt. Those professionals can do things that I can't in order to help with the adoption.
MYTH
Birthparents are all troubled teens.
FACT
Most birthparents today are over the age of 18. (Gus' birthmom is 30.) It has been found that many teenage moms actually choose to parent their child.
MYTH
Parents can't love their adopted child as much as their biological child.
FACT
This one just makes me angry!! First of all, are you kidding me?!? Second of all, it will never matter if Gus grew in my uterus or in my heart. I loved him from the day the social worker called to tell me that we were matched. I love him beyond words! I don't think that having the same DNA makes any difference to how much you love your child. There have been a number of conversations at work among co-workers about pregnancy. I remember one day they were talking about maternity pants and how much they love them. One co-worker turned to me and said, "Just wait, Beth...you will love them." I just smiled and kept my mouth shut when in reality I wanted to sob, "I may never have that opportunity." Recent conversations have been had with two people who are pregnant with their second child. They were talking about how this pregnancy was different, etc. Or how this kid just keeps sitting on their bladder or moving or whatever. Yes, I am jealous. In my head, all I could think was, "Yup, I have given anything to have a kid sitting on my bladder or doing cartwheels in my stomach." But then I remembered that it didn't matter...I am head over heels in love with my son and it doesn't matter that I didn't get to wear maternity pants. I have been overweight for many years...I have had my share of elastic waist pants...no big deal. Waiting for my son to arrive and even after he was here I had my fair share of "sickness"...I don't need morning sickness. And I certainly don't need to give birth with that kind of pain. (Gross!) I had plenty of "pain" and heartache as we waited through that five week risk period. So just because I didn't carry him inside me doesn't mean I didn't have my own sort of "pregnancy" and "childbirth". Okay so I kind of ranted on that one...sorry...it has been on my mind lately.
Hope you learned a new adoption fact. Sorry that you had to listen to some of my rants as well. I'm going to go snuggle with my little chunky monkey...because he is all mine!!!!
